My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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