we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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