Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Found the puke drawer
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize