how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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