My room smells like vodka and shame
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
