Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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