party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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