Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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