Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
