he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
