She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
