i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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