I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize