He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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