You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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