my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
