the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
