Tell her she can't have a vagina
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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