whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
