Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he was CRYING into my vagina
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
