K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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