The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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