I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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