I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
