She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
