Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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