I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
