My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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