Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize