So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
