i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
