Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is Oprah even human
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
