And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
