3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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