I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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