Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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