I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
