Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize