I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
