Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
