im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
