You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
