He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
