tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
