I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Randomize
