The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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