Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
