Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
