I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
