Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize