In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
