I need help removing her.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize