You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
