Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
