SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
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