I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
