Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
