I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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