I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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