She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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