Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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