We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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