Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
