he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
