I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
