oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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