glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
