yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
