You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
