why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
