All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
