I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
