remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
